The One Where I Call the Easter Bunny a Dick.
I woke up Easter morning, at my sister-in-law’s, feeling slightly off.
I had just passed the 27 week mark in my pregnancy, the exact point I was put in the hospital, followed by bed-rest, in my first pregnancy. And, although I was trying to stay positive, I knew I had a higher risk of it happening all over again.
Sure enough, after an intense Easter egg hunt, the kids had one and the women another (there was jewelry in 6 of the eggs, generously donated by the crazy talented (and wonderful) Claudia Lobao. I scored some earrings – YAY), and a dip in the pool, I started feeling WEIRD. Very contract-y with lots of pressure, and a weird sensation, like a wood pecker had taken up residence in my lady bits. FUN!
I snuck out of the pool and went to lay down, but the weirdness stayed with me most of the day. I went to bed early, hoping it was just a bad day.
*cutting to the chase*
The next day I packed us all up to head back to Houston. I started feeling weird in the car again. And then woke up that night feeling crampy, tight belly, and crazy lower back pain.
And I knew.
It was happening again.
Those stupid ass pre-term contractions.
I went to my fabulous doc the next morning, still hoping he would just tell me I was crazy and to go home.
He checked my cervix, which ouch and he didn’t even buy me a drink first, and made the face. The face that told me I wasn’t just crazy and something was indeed going on.
So, here’s where we are at now.
I was given a steroid shot for the baby’s lungs if he decides to come early, and sent home to stay in bed for two days.
I go back on Thursday to see if anything is progressing and for an OMG ARE YOU REALLY GONNA STICK THAT HUGE PROGESTERONE NEEDLE IN MY ASS CHEEK, which I will get weekly until this kid comes out. (I got them with my first pregnancy – NO FUN – BRUISED ASS.)
According to my doctor, I’m just a “contractor”. I told him I’d been called worse.
If my cervix is still dilating/effacing, I will likely be put in the hospital for a while.
If not, I think I’ll be ordered back home to chill.
Have you tried chilling with an almost three year old?
So, in summation, the Easter Bunny not only brought chocolate eggs and hot wheels to my kid, but he also brought me preterm contractions and a soft cervix.