My Scattered Thoughts Among The Many….

I saw this on my friend Faiqa’s Facebook page recently.

I love it, and believe there are people out there from all the sides of all the agendas that can, and often do, appreciate, model and act on this sentiment.

I think most humans are decent. And, if you take a step back, the person you are arguing with, the one that lives in your computer, is likely one of the most.

Sometimes our big balls on the internet make our hearts and minds look smaller, or make us seem angrier than we really are.

Or maybe we really are that angry, and sitting behind our computers and shouting our frustrations, is the easiest way to let it all out.

But, in real life, very few of us would communicate our views so aggressively.

Because, when personally interacting with someone, it’s easier to get a feel of their true character, and understand how their personal experiences have molded their outlook on the world. We get a much deeper understanding when sitting face to face, than when we judge someone solely by their Facebook likes or the profile picture of them shotgunning a beer.

(I first wrote “bear” instead of “beer” in the previous sentence. Shotgunning a bear is so much worse and less fun than shotgunning a beer.)

I’m so guilty of raging from behind my computer screen, seeing things through my black and white lenses. But, when I do it, it seems acceptable, because I’m right.

Of course.

Yesterday, I saw judgement and insensitivity strewn all across my computer screen.

Stuff like this.

And, I immediately engaged, judging the judgers, as I do so well.

But, these people, the ones pointing fingers at the victims and shaming them, baffle me.

I’d like just one of them to tell me that they’ve never gone five miles over the speed limit, when running late to school. Or, have never left their kid alone in the other room for a few minutes longer than they should have.

If we were to put a microscope on every single parenting choice we’ve made, the what-ifs would be terrifying.

Where is the support for our fellow (wo)man? Why are we so quick to attack and knock each other down? How does this make someone feel better about themselves?

And I’m sure someone will say to me, “Oh, you hippie-chick idealist, we live in the real world. Deal with it.”

And, yes, I can be an idealist. But, what the hell is wrong with wanting to believe that there’s more good than bad in the world, or trying to make the bad a tiny bit better?

But, as idealistic as I can be, I’m certainly not naive.

I know how messed up things are in this county, and in this world.

I know that our gun laws are too lax.

I know that there are crazy people in this world.

I know that guns kill people.

I know that people kill people.

I know that most people with guns don’t kill people.

I know that mental health in this country is sub-par, at best.

I know that one can be so proud of their country, as I am, and still acknowledge that there are things we can do to make it better. In fact, if you ask me, THAT is the true definition of loving your country. Change and adaptation are not evil or bad things. They are, in fact, a necessity.

And, I know that if we don’t stop acting like spoiled babies, refusing to even entertain the notion that the other side may have some valid points, we are fucked.

Why is it all our nothing?

Why is someone who collects AK-47′s not willing to say, “You know what? If it makes our country safer, I can find another fucking hobby.”

Why can’t others say, “You can have your hunting rifles, let’s just tighten things up a bit,” rather than, “You can’t own any guns at all!”

Why does it have to be all or nothing and us against them?

We teach our kids all day long to work together, respect one another, and play nice. Meanwhile, we sit in our corners with our arms crossed, singing la-la-la I can’t hear you, when someone disagrees with us.

A country of stubborn infants is what we’ve become.

As I was getting ready for bed, I felt deflated and disappointed in people.

Then, this popped up in my inbox, and, unbeknownst to her, the timing couldn’t have been better.

My god, I can’t even tell you how much I appreciated this.

Anne, taking a couple of minutes of her time to write this, changed my entire week.

I’m positive she had no idea how much it would mean to me.

But, all those things we think are unimportant or don’t matter, the things we don’t have time for (but, really do)….they matter.

If we all stopped and took a minute to lift someone up, rather than knock them down, just imagine how good…how much less toxic…things could be.

Also, just to be sure, because, you know, I have zero verification that this was written by his real nurse.

(I did, however, tweet the clinic my post on the ordeal, and they ensured me it would be shared with Luca’s doctors and nurses. So, maybe it is.)

Admittedly, though, it’s possible I’m sharing this to fluff myself, due to my parenting insecurities and paranoia from this week’s events. But-but-but, I’m also writing it to have record of it all…manuscripts of memories to share with my kids one day. And-and-and, also to show how a few words can change someone’s day from bad to good.

(But, probably mostly because fuck yeah I’m an awesome mom, so take that haters who exist only in my mind!)

Finally, as I was finishing out my thoughts, and my day, this bright-red cherry plopped itself right on top of everything…

This was in reply to me sharing her show-dates on Facebook…

(Which, you should totally check out if you’re in the area. I’ve known her since we were fourteen years old. She’s the real deal.)

Two people took the time to share their positive feelings with me, to lift me up with their words, and say things out loud that most of us only think.

It seems way too simple, I know. But, I truly believe, if we all treated one another this way, the road to positive change wouldn’t seem so impossibly long and out of reach.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts….xo

7 Comments Added

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  1. kel July 21, 2012 | Reply
    Funny, because right before I read this post, I read this quote: "Everyone in Life does Exactly what they Know How to Do Given the Conditions of their Lives" ~Wayne Dyer Empathy. Compassion. Understanding. Openness. I am with you, sister.
    • admin July 21, 2012 | Reply
      LOVE LOVE LOVE that quote, Kelly. Thanks for sharing, and taking the time to comment. xoxo
  2. TheAvasmommy July 21, 2012 | Reply
    As usual, sitting here nodding my head. Excellent post.
    • admin July 21, 2012 | Reply
      Thank you, lady!! Means a lot! xoxo
  3. Katya July 22, 2012 | Reply
    here's the deal. reading this, i felt, "i only want to share more of my inside musings with this person, this woman who will embrace and honor another's words!" this is the power of how you say things. i love the way you write. i love what you pointed out because it's so exactly right on. i love how effortlessly funny you are, natural to you like blinking. i love that you welcome the little extra kindness which so many people feel uncomfortable with or balk at because they don't know how to hold it. i love anne. i love that you're a fearless mom. i love that you included our exchange and i'm honored! most of all, i love that you are a good mom and wife, but also that you give your family the gift of knowing you through what you create! that you take the time to put it down. that you have this blog. yeah, i've known you a long time now and will always consider you my friend! but please, also consider me your fan because i'm applauding you from cali, cheering you on for being you and sharing it.
  4. Ben July 23, 2012 | Reply
    Can't do anything but agree with everything. Fantastic blog
  5. Angi July 23, 2012 | Reply
    I don't comment enough on how much I appreciate your words. I look forward to your posts. I laugh, I cry, and I am frequently in awe of your respect for life, all kinds. You're a generous and amazing woman.

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