All it took was the simple, clean stroke of a pen to end years of smudged messiness. Lately, I’ve found myself curious about the judge who signed off on our divorce. Has she become immune to the dysfunction? Or, did she see the names of two young kids and feel sadness that their family is now legally severed by way of her signature? It’s not important really, but, still, for some odd reason my mind keeps returning to it..
It’s been four years since I wrote you this letter. Some of it’s the same. Some of it has changed. And it just keeps growing. Kind of like you. Happy 7th Birthday, sweet boy!!! * * * Dear Luca, I promise to love you unconditionally for who YOU are. I will never turn my back on you. Always be true to yourself, even if some of your beliefs and wants aren’t.
Find a nice guy. Someone you can depend on. Someone who will take care of you. So, she did. Buy a nice house. In a great neighborhood, with the best little elementary school. So, they did. Have a baby! It will make your family will complete. So, they did. Two, in fact. You still feel empty…incomplete? You should talk to someone about that. It’s not normal, what, with everything you have. It.
The first few weeks after my ex-husband moved out were surreal, to say the least. I vacillated between extreme highs and extreme lows. I loved living alone! I hated living alone! Slowly, though, my emotions began leveling out, and I found myself reaching small victories here and there. I no longer waited around each evening, listening for the garage door to loudly announce his arrival. I flipped through our wedding.
I was going through old posts I’d written, attempting to find a few I can submit for my dream job, when I came across the one about the DAMAS conference. I presented a session for young girls about confidence and positive self-image, two things that took me years to find. This rabbit-holed me into the speech I’d written just for them. One I could barely get through at the time,.